So then followed this grey area in my musical existence where I was only listening to new country as mentioned in a previous blog. I wasn't really paying much attention to much else out there musically. I certainly didn't come across anything that really excited me to the point of wanting to actually buy any music. It may have been where I was in my personal life at the time or perhaps it was the lack of anything that really grabbed my interest.

Once I was free and on my own again, I took another stab at flipping through the radio stations trying to find something to listen to. As it happens, you tend to gravitate towards songs that fit your current situation. Around that time, The Script's “Breakeven” came out. It really hit me hard emotionally. It came out after my marriage was over, and I had eventually ventured into a relationship with a friend who I'd known longer than my ex-husband only to have it blow up in my face. At the time I thought my friend might actually be my soul mate if such a thing existed. That crash and burn experience gave me my first really hard core experience with Karma. I had hurt some really badly and now someone had hurt me in return to the point where I was literally curled up on the floor, crying my eyes out and “praying to a God that I don't believe in”. I may not be religious but I am spiritual in my own way. It definitely brought home the fact that “when a heart breaks no it don't break even”.

It was such an awakening on so many levels. Once again, this person wasn't who I thought he was, there IS such a thing as Karma and it will knock you on your ass and do more damage than anything you could possibly come up with for revenge. No need to get back at anyone for anything because the Universe will do a much better job of it than you. I knew eventually I was going to be okay after I had healed once again. I was really done with relationships at that point, at least for the time being. I've always been independent since a very young age and am quite content on my own.

While I was going through all this heartbreak and to add insult to injury, suddenly I was being forced to move again. I was living on the top floor of an old house. The first floor was a restaurant, the second floor had two apartments. The restaurant and building were sold and totally renovated by the new owners only to find out they could no longer have residential space on the third floor. It was noisy and inconvenient but I was enamored with the small town charm and the farmer's markets with their fresh produce and baked goods. After a mad scramble to find a new home I had no luck finding another place out in the country and was forced to move back to Toronto after being out of the city for about 11 years.

Since then I've adapted to my new digs and then rediscovered my love of music when I rediscovered Gavin DeGraw. I knew of him from his previous hits but didn't really delve into his music until then. Just when I had gone through such a long drought and was thirsty for something to really sink my teeth into musically, it came back to me through Gavin. I still can't put into words how or why specifically. I've tried to explain it to my family on many occasions only to have their eyes glaze over as if they're wondering if I've lost my mind or something. Needless to say I'm on my own in my real life when it comes to my love for Gavin's music. Online is a totally different story...to be continued.